#esp things ive put all of myself into

[theskeletoninthegarden]

I so badly had to swallow my tongue the other day because I told a roommate that I write fanfiction for The Walking Dead, and he was pleasantly surprised

[kaiserkisser]

fuck

well fuck

[manjiroscum]

IM ALIVE AND WELL (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ HELLO EVERYONE !!!

it's been so long since i came here *sobs* how are you all? i hope ur all good 🥺 lots of stuff happened and i got super busy cause i'm graduating soon *cheers* i'll try and reply to everyone

[drifloonz]

one day ill be annoying ab my selfship again . although i enjoy that ppl enjoy my writing most of this is entirely self indulgent, projection, and for me . being so real .

[kurtbrussels]

drop your routine in the notes im genuinely curious

[cerubean]

omg i wanna play my game so bad its been so long

[teruthecreator]

i have nowhere else to complain about this so you're all getting it but man oh man do i wish i could sleep normally. im never tired when i need to be and i struggle falling asleep every single night and its like no matter what i do nothing changes ive been on like 5 different medications now and nothing fucking HELPS and i feel like ive got a target on my back at work and i havent been able to write in what feels like weeks and UGH i feel myself falling into a deep pit of despair which sucks because I HAVE SHIT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[aria0fgold]

I always wondered how anyone was able to write something with more than 5k words when I'd always struggle with it but now with how this mhyk fic is going I'm like: I understand. Also I feel like my writing has improved somehow? Which I'm really REALLY happy for.

[silverislander]

something really fun and sexy adhd will do is block you from ever actually showing others what you're truly capable of. lol

[gallusrostromegalus]

hi i see that you have much smart dog experience. i may have accidentally purchased such a dog. she's only 10 weeks, and ive had her 1, and she's already outmatched every puzzle feeder i got or have made. to the point that she is morosely disappointed when her food comes in an actual food bowl. do you know where i can find like. "heres 100 enrichment toys you can make out of free trash so your dog stops eating fucking rocks for enrichment" lists. i only have so many paper towel tubes XD

Herschel now just disassembles puzzle feeders, so I've been focusing on "Toys that, even if he already knows how to operate them, will still take TIME for him to collect the treat from" to give him something to fuss with.

Herschel eats all his meals out of a Kong Wobbler, because he will otherwise eat so fast he will literally inhale and choke on his kibble and I do not need him developing pneumonia from aspiration. Even though it's a "Simple" toy it slows him down and he does have to think a bit to tip it in the most efficient manner possible. Kong's "Flipz", "Gyro" and "Rewards Wally" are also really good "dog needs to think/carefully manipulate the toy for food" toys that act as both mental stimulation and exercise and "give human a break for up to twelve minutes" toys.

I highly reccomend KONG as a brand- they're local to Denver and have an impeccable saftey record and all of the toys I have gotten from them have held up extremely well vs. the ravages of three entirely too smart and strong-jawed dogs at once.

Some more thoughts:

If she's not prone to shredding rubber, the kind of treat toys she has to chew are also good stimulation.

If you don't want to give her That Many treats, my vet said that dogs can have as many green beans as they want. Just make sure that the beans haven't had salt added to them- canned usually does, but frozen green beans usually don't, but always check the label.

You can make nearly any toy last longer, or make a cheap long-puzzle by freezing the treats so they take longer to eat AND provides hydration. Herschel's most favorite treat of all time is literally a wad of sliced green beans in a dixie cup, filled with water and frozen. Just peel off the cup and hand him the chunk of ice and he's good for up to half an hour and more chill afterwards.

You can also freeze lick mats

If your girl is like Charlie and doesn't like greenbeans, you can also try freezing paper cups of: Canned pumpkin, apple slices in water, putting some ice cubes in the bottom of the cup, a gob of peanut butter in the middle and then fill it with water to make a peanutbutter filled ice cube.

If your girl is REALLY like charlie who has figured out how to use labor negotiation and strike tactics for better treats: boiled chicken chunks frozen in some of the water you boiled them in.

Walkies are as much mental stimulation as they are physical exercise. Take her out and let her sniff to her heart's content.

Also Puppies in particular need like, SO MUCH exercise.

Let her participate in activities with you. Herschel and charlie sit in the kitchen and I narrate cooking dinner to them, which seems to interest them, even if I don't have spare veggie ends to give them. I also frequently bring them along in the car if I'm running errands when it's cold enough to do that, so they have something new to look at, and get to participate. I also am more likely to stop at a new park and give myself some exercise and mental stimulation.

Training her to do tasks is GREAT Smart Dog enrichment- esp if she's a herding or heeler, they LOVE being helpful. I taught the dogs they get a small treat if they come in from the yard without me having to go chase them down, which saved me a lot of hassle, and now I'm working on teaching herschel to pick things up off the floor for me if I drop them and alert for chickpeas, which my housemate is allergic to.

A lot of dogs like cat-type toys. Tie a stick or some fleece to some paracord and drag or flycast it around for her to chase/play tug with when she catches it. Toys that bounce unexpectedly were also a huge hit. or just wave the string around the cat and the corgi both like that.

If you live in farm country or know other people with pets, you can grab something with the scent of another animal on it and bring it home for her to smell. Charlie and Herschel spent the better part of three days investigating the wad of horse undercoat I brought home and put in the spare wobbler for them to smell.

[ryutarotakedown]

i don't think he had a concrete plan for her exactly but i also don't think he would have forgotten about her. ryuunosuke says that kazuma called her a close friend, and he absolutely did consider her in the equation when he smuggled ryuunosuke onboard, it's just that his solution was to Not Tell Her because it would have put her in danger

(the rest of this is under the cut because i blacked out and started rambling. also disclaimer that i haven't played 2-4 and 2-5 in forever)

and so i think that's probably what he planned to do for the study tour in general as well. like it's important to remember that kazuma never actually intended to go through with killing gregson - he only said yes to jigoku's offer because it was the only way he could ever get to go to britain, and the reason why he actually ends up drawing his sword on gregson is because he was infuriated that gregson wouldn't tell him the full truth about his father. it was very much an impulse thing

so like, what is kazuma's plan? all he's really planning to do is figure out the truth about his father, a process probably involving several death threats but zero actual murders, and (since he's convinced barok is the one behind it already) somehow maneuver barok behind bars while doing so. he wasn't planning to do anything "illegal," unless you count the destruction of property re: cutting his dad's wax head off, although even that probably wasn't part of the plan because how could he have known his dad had his own wax exhibition. so—

so there really isn't much he has to tell susato, in his view? like ideally he would choose barok to go against (not very difficult since barok would immediately come out of retirement to face a japanese exchange student anyway), he'd get his client off (ha), his client would die afterwards mysteriously, and he'd choose to take on whoever was framed for the death as his new client* and expose barok in the process. it would be beautiful and glorious and right

*if no human person was framed and the death was, like, a cliff collapse or something, he'd probably try to investigate it himself. rope the police into it. if gregson's involved he might panic and assign a fall guy anyway and then kazuma can go back to the original plan. and if not, well, kazuma's a defense attorney. all he has to do is keep taking cases

and all susato has to do in that is be his judicial assistant as she's always been, right? so he doesn't have to tell her anything. in fact it would probably be safest if he didn't, because susato studied to be a judicial assistant for his sake and it would be unfair if he repaid her by dragging her into all of this. it's his past, he's dealing with it himself, and he can admit that he needs her and ryuunosuke by his side for emotional support, but he's never telling them the truth if he has the choice.

also it is important to note that kazuma always chooses to interact with susato on Professional Terms, not just calling her "judicial assistant mikotoba" but also framing his greeting to her in 2-3 by thanking her for guiding ryuunosuke and in 2-5 freeing her from her duty to him so she can go with ryuunosuke back to japan. i think that dynamic is a sort of dance they developed over time, because susato does refer to kazuma very familarly (first-name terms) but she also says he's always talking to her about how he wants to reform the judicial system in japan, and she tears up and says it was an honor to help ryuunosuke in 2-3 - this is ymmv but imo it's a mutual thing they've agreed on (edit: not like, out loud, they're not emotionally open enough for that, but i think they settled into the pattern), to talk to each other in terms of duties and obligations despite the fact that they are genuinely very close. and in that case, it's not susato's job to help kazuma sort out all of this, is it? so at the time of setting out from japan, at least, kazuma's main connection between susato and the professor incident is to keep her out of it

(obviously once we step out of Kazuma Asougi's Very Unbiased Mind there is a very different picture going on where after they arrive in britain susato and ryuunosuke are scrambling to figure out why the hell kazuma is acting so angry and distant and strange, what do you mean he killed your father? susato asks. i thought your father died of illness? and kazuma is naturally completely unprepared for all of this. he wants susato by his side, of course, as someone to bounce ideas with and who can keep him in check, but he'd never wanted her to be entangled with all of this)

(is this why you wanted me here, kazuma-sama? so i could see you like this?)

anyway tl;dr i somewhat agree with the people in the notes saying that he probably didn't think about it all that much, but not because he doesn't care about her, but rather the opposite: he loves her too much to want her to ever get caught up in this whole thing, and he's confident enough to believe that he can keep her and ryuunosuke away from it, even if that idea falls apart under more than five seconds of scrutiny

wait if kazuma hadnt hit his head and his plan actually worked what did he think susato would do. what was the plan for her . what was the plan for susato please kazuma

[purple-phesh-and-cheps]

im absolutely hooked with this thing i like to call automatic poetry (might alr exist, ik that automatic art does) where i just wander around, not even with a pen in hand, and see which words are the first that come to mind. they can be anything. they have to be the FIRST words, and then whatever follows after. the idea is basically that it's forcing you to not put too much thought behind the words, because you can't put ANY thought behind them

this is a really good activity to do to help get words out, esp if you find you're having writer's block/overthinking all your writing too much. it also means, if you're feeling particularly creative, that you can sort of put the thoughts behind the words after they're out of your system, and figure out how you want to interpret them !!

ive only managed to truly do it and then record it a few times, which turned out really cool and idk how those words were just in my mind (maybe im having divine visions or smth guys) so here are my examples of automatic poems ive written:

and in this silent time they did not hear both the coming of the angels, or the fall of heaven

✴

and who will keep us company from ourselves? as we crawl out of this hollow earth in despair

✴

something has passed within me — something changed when the light rippled on the windowsill i thought to myself, “what a joy to be alive.”

[thatdeadaquarius]

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

:)

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

OH

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

[nyxi-pixie]

Hiiiii.

Sorry to bother you, I wanted to know if you had any fic recs? Your writing is so good and your tastes are immaculate, and I am starving for any kind of good content. Please?

its not possible to bother me love dw <3

NOW. i dont actually read all that much anymore bc i am horrendously picky but this does give me an excuse to hype up the few authors that have satisfied my unreasonably specific tastes 🤩.

so. a few bsd recs for you (except theyre 99% skk because im horribly predictable forever). everyone go read all of these and tell the authors how wonderful they are in the comments please <3

anything @booksandpaperss has ever written is genius work and everyone should read it. could talk abt all of their stuff for hours (and i have🤩 they put up w so much of me bothering them godbless). also our brains do some accidental crazy mind melding shit whenever either of us write fic so if you like any of my stuff you will like theirs. thats the rules. <3

like twin stars in the dark (we collide)- dead apple skk porn as a vehicle for 22skk analysis. makes me salivate i have read it so many times. they get 22skk better than anyone🙏

my lies are for you to keep (my love for you to lose) - the only take on beastskk that matters to me ever. you can actually see me losing my mind in the comment i wrote on this fic bc of how fucking insane every single line made me. theres SO much packed into this thing its fucking crazy i NEEEEED everyone to read it. thats all <3

till death, I'll give you my breath - dazai death timeloop. this fic terrifies me so much i await every update with my teeth chattering and my heart pulsing so rapidly i should be hospitalised. the first scene of chapter 2 genuinely had me on the verge of tears im unwell about it.

(elli also has some jjk stuff thats REALLYREALLY good and if ur into jjk u should check that out too.)

NOW. aside from being a propaganda machine for my fav writer ever. Heres some other stuff i love.

the second perspective by @wildflowerteas. murder mystery/detective noir stuff w some time fuckery. the au of all time. mashes aspects of beast, canon, and some extra special niko sauce into a mixing bowl and goes crazy w it. just Such a genuinely impressive piece of writing. i could talk abt the technical brilliance of it for hours but i will stop myself. you gotta commit to this thing because it WILL make u crazy. also i loveee the sskk. its like if we had the beast first meeting sskk forever. SOSO GOOD!!!!

did fate guide the gun or did you? by @kanetheo. i read this pretty soon after chapter 109 and it genuinely fried my brain for months. the writing style is beautiful (as for everything they write AUGHH!!!) and the angst is delectable. the way it intersperses more fun silly skk moments with just. complete misery. GOD. it just hits. ive reread it quite a few times and it never fails to make me go crazy. srsly cannot rec this enough.

the decomposition of dazai osamu by @hella1975 this shot several bullets through my brain and i still havent recovered. i keep thinking 'oh i should reread that' and then i dont bc some part of my brain still concerns itself w maintaining whats left of my sanity. BUT its crazy good and everyone should read it and suffer at least once. EVERYONE LOVES YOU OSAMU!!!! EVERYONE EATS YOU!!! line of all time lets all kill ourselves.

smoke held conversations by feralrookie - i havent reread this in a while but it does cool stuff with nlh and the skkisms are really good in this too. ppl often write teen chuuya as less intelligent than he actually is. hes very observant, esp of dazai, and this fic gave me that 🙏

i called your name til the fever broke by forest_raccoon - vampire chuuya. biting is involved. i blacked out reading it. enough said.

[weirdmageddon]

ive finaly managed to lay it out my major interests. i dont know what took me so long to be able to do that. i posted it to bluesky but i’ll do it here too. i need a new pinned post anyway.

22 neurodivergent ass autistic goth nerd and other-proclaimed “wizard”

things i’m interested in:

science: ALL natural science, esp. neuroscience, neuropsychology, psychology (the mind), biology, anatomy & physiology, ecosystems

other realms: philosophy, sociology, anthropology, human ethology, personality differences

natural noumena: patterns in nature, emergence, self-organization / spontaneous order, chaos theory and fractals

tropes / archetypes

analytical psychology / jungian analysis (not in association to jordan peterson, whom i think is a chode. this is significant to me, because i feel like i share the phenomenological reality with jung that formed the basis of his ideas. many of these forces i’ve noticed on my own, separate from him, before i knew him. so seeing his ideas i was like “oh he put it into words. glad to know someone else has a keen sense for these phenomena”)

socionics model A

other typological systems: enneagram, mbti (not 16personalities), etc. (quizzes are lazy minded, reading the theoretical foundations helps it feel much more significant)

eclectic alternative music subcultures + history: esp. 70s-80s, experimental, psychedelic rock, punk, new wave, post-punk, goth rock, industrial

the venture bros. (bonus points if you understand most of the references because this show is like my personal catnip)

jhonen vasquez: jthm, squee, i feel sick, invader zim (decade+ old fan)

david lynch: twin peaks, eraserhead, blue velvet, mulholland drive, etc

jon bois: pretty good, 17776/20020, chart party, team history documentaries, etc

blaseball

vinesauce

pokemon: in general, but esp. game mechanics

gravity falls (decade old fan)

homestuck (decade old fan)

mother series

star trek* (*slowly immersing myself)

lots of more stuff i probably missed

typology type profile: LII-Ne IN(T) INFJ 5w4 so/sp 514 |R|COAI

random things i want to say:

given enough time i think i could probably explain anything

i live in a very isolated pocket of my own taste in art/music where im not really aware of what everyone else is listening to because it just…doesnt really cross my mind ever? i found out brian eno said something similar, “If I tried to make a commercial album, it would be a complete flop. I have no idea what the world at large likes.” i told my friend the other day i feel like i understand my self through music and art, because of the accumulation of my taste i can actually experience my unconscious preference and know what i feel my own experiences reflected in

im best at self-reflection and observations of own my own mental processes

if i were forced to kin a homestuck character it would be aradia megido. we’re very close in spirit

i have similar mannerisms to dipper pines. first time i saw a cartoon character and felt represented

another brian eno quote i strongly relate to: “Sometimes you recognize that there is a category of human experience that has not been identified but everyone knows about it. That is when I find a term to describe it.”

[nadianova]

Is there any merch for your visual novels? Just something like a sticker or a shirt. Just wondering because I would love to purchase one if there was

kinda but na. its kinda difficult to figure out how to set it all up. esp with when selling nsfw stuff and every site and their mom wants to kill me for making girldick games. but also most on demand printing services just routinely get worse year by year so you cant even trust reviews and just have to trial and error yourself and i don't want to be sending my fans garbo shirts that dissolve the print in like 2 trips to the washing machine,. like i had a teespring store we put doomsay dreamgirl tanktops in and previously my partners old merch years before that idk lets say 6 years ago but nowadays the tanktops i ordered for myself were just SOOOO bad i feel embarrassed that someone else would have paid money for them.

theyre not unusable or anything... but its just sad that the print starts fading so fast. i love wearing mine and don't give a shit if I'm taking selfies with a faded tank design.. i mean i originally put the thing up on the store just to buy and wear it myself so

home printing stuff is like just insane hassle i am not prepared to face ( also assume very expensive to even start doing? idk. even if it wasn't i wouldn't do it)

its just a lot of effort ive been just so busy with irl stuff recently and also like dunno i do have an idea for a chandra shirt design i wanna do eventually one day hopefully